Freelancer: East to West
by The Real Facts
Summary: Alaska, Louisiana, and West Virginia are three former simulation troopers-turned-Freelancers. How will they handle this new predicament? (Note: Image is Agent Alaska)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Agents Louisiana, West Virginia, and Alaska."

"Hey, Clint!"

York walks through the locker room, looking for the new Freelancer. He finds someone else polishing their Hayabusa helmet and katana. Louisiana looks up at him contemptuously. "Alaska ain't here, York. He's fighting South."

York frowns. "Looks like he's gonna get his ass whipped."

TRAINING ROOM: SOUTH DAKOTA VERSUS ALASKA

South fires her lockdown paint chaingun at Alaska, who flips and spins around, each shot narrowly missing him. He brings up a bright red AI in his GEN2 Commando Helmet. "Rho, launch payload."

"Yes. Right away."

An EMP version of a plasma pistol flies through the air and lands in his right hand. He starts the overcharge. His shot hits South in the arm, causing her to drop her heavy weapon and pull a pistol, shooting him in his firing hand. He shrugs and charges, headbutting her, knocking her back. He then dives for her pistol, and twists, unloading the clip into her chest. The Counselor just frowns.

"Alaska has beaten South. Update the board."

Number 5 goes from SOUTH DAKOTA to ALASKA

OUTSIDE THE ROOM, 30 MINUTES LATER

York claps his charge on the back.

"Nice work, Clint."

Alaska just frowns. "She's probably gonna hate me now. Heh…"

Washington looks at him incredulously. "Why do you even care what she thinks?" Alaska ignores him, and leaves.

Carolina and West Virginia smile at Washington.

"West… don't even try."

West says it anyway. "That was the worst consolation ever. OF. ALL. TIME. He has feelings for her, Wash. Don't walk all over the poor kid."

South walks in, now in plain clothes, following Clint with a fiery glint in her eye.

LOCKER ROOM

Clint turns around and catches the fist coming at his head. "South…" He dodges her other fist, and jumps, kicking her in the jaw. She tackles him, launching a barrage of punches. She does not care that her knuckles are bleeding from the force of her strikes. He plants a foot into her gut, launching her over his head. He takes off his helmet and pitches it at her, hitting her in the head. North runs in, grabbing Alaska and pulling him back, catching his enraged sister's arm. West follows him in, as do Wyoming and Louisiana.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"York and Carolina- and West Virginia."

York smiles at Carolina in his all-knowing manner.

"Hey, Hey, Hey! If it isn't my favorite sea foam slash aqua slash teal Freelancer!"

"Hey, York."

He stands up and hugs her. "We need to talk."

She frowns. "No, I'm not getting any more AI, York."

"It isn't that, Carolina."

"Then what is it?"

"I've been thinking... a lot." She gasps in faux shock. "I know, so freaking funny. But really. I've been thinking a lot about myself and others... more than usual, some more than others. I wanted to tell someone what's on my chest... and, you are someone I trust. Carolina... we're friends, aren't we?"

"Yeah…"

"Would you hold it against me if I wanted to be more than friends?"

Carolina looks at him, now genuinely shocked. "York… I-"

"Think that's the worst confession ever of all time? Me too!" West Virginia pops out of his locker, but is met by Carolina's boot, which connects with his face flawlessly, knocking him cross-eyed back into his locker. Carolina turns to York and smiles.

"York… I think I'd like that. But don't get any ideas."

"I wouldn't dream of it, ma'am."

NEXT DAY

Wash and West are chatting about West's tagline.

"So, Washington, all it requires is for someone to do something stupid, and then you say that that was the worst whatever they did ever, of all time."

"Okay. Changing the subject, did you really hear York say that?"

"Yeah, man, no ass-pull. This is really legit."

"Why were you spying on them?"

"Lambda has pheromone readers, and he picked up a whole lotta you know what."

"Lambda must be malfunctioning."

"It doesn't take Lambda to see that you check out Virginia's ass every time she walks by."

Virginia passes by, and Washington stares intently at her ass. "How can you tell, even if I was?"

"Cause you're checkin' her ass right now."

"Shut it, West."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Scared"

Washington is scared. He's getting an AI. Epsilon. He doesn't know anything about it but the rumors. And frankly, an inverted penis doesn't seem fun. Then he watches something he'll regret forever afterwards.

"Wait, Director. I want Epsilon."

Wash turns to see a magenta and blue Freelancer and his old AI, Lambda.

"West Virginia, you already have an AI."

"I want Epsilon. Give Kappa to Wash, but I. Want. Epsilon."

"Very well. Change of plans, agent. You get Lambda."

TWO DAYS LATER.

York walks into the infirmary.

"Wash, ignore the doctors."

"Why the fuck would I do that?"

"Trust me."

Washington looks anyway. What he sees makes him retch. West is dead. Another failure. But then Wash realizes something. Lambda was one of the first AI. Epsilon was more unstable. Did West know that? He looks at York. "Next time, don't try and hide it from me."

"Hopefully there won't be a next time."

Wash looks at the new helmet. A MP helmet. York has the same kind of helmet now, only Gold. Wash's is now Black and Gold. Way cooler than Blue and White. He puts it on.

"Kappa?"

A deep blue AI appears in his visor. "Hello, Washington. How are you?"

"Shitty."

"Understandable."

OUTSIDE TRAINING ROOM, TWO DAYS LATER.

"Lambda, what is my ability?"

"Strength."

Wash can't help but smile. "Oh, Virginia! Hellooooooo?"

An orange clad EVA smacks him in the back of the head. "Don't have to yell! It hurts my ears!"

"What, don't like the click MEGAPHONE!"

Florida covers his ears. "Ooooooowww! Mary Mother of God, Washington!"

Virginia turns off her sound dampners. "No, but the helmet's pretty kickass."

"Then how about we see how kickass?"

Florida gawks. "You are gonna fight Virginia? Oh Lord Jesus…"

They walk into the training room. Virginia looks up. "FILSS, register match Washington versus Virginia."

A monotone female voice speaks. "Very well. Begin when ready."

Virginia draws her throwing knives, one between each finger. Wash grabs a DMR, then changes his mind and throws it at her. The impact sends her sprawling. As she falls, he jumps, kicking her harder into the floor. He picks her up and throws her to the ceiling.

"Lambda, more power to leg musculature."

"Yes sir."

He leaps up, kicking her back down. She rolls back to a crouch and throws her right-hand knives. Wash catches them, to Virginia's, Florida's, and the recently arrived Director's surprise. Then, he crushes them in his hand.

"Is that all you've got, Virginia."

"Not by a long shot, **David**."

He bull rushes her, slamming a fist into her gut, sending her flying. She hits the wall, but quickly bounces back, throwing her other knives, which bury in Wash's armor. He rips them out and throws them back at her, hitting her in the leg, shoulder, and heel. Then, he finishes the fight with a roundhouse to the head, knocking her out cold.

Number 10 goes from Virginia to Washington.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Alaska's first mission"

"_I'm telling you, Rho, the Alpha doesn't exist."_

Alaska, Washington, Nevada, and Massachusetts prepare to fight. Their mission is to kill a rouge Freelancer : New Jersey. It's Massachusetts and Alaska's first mission. Nevada is the veteran, so she takes charge of the situation.

"Alright, dickweeds. NJ ran to the Insurrection like the little pussy he is, so we're gonna smoke his motherfucking candy ass. Any questions? Didn't think so."

Alaska did have a few questions. Namely, why isn't Nevada wearing her helmet in a combat spot, why is she yelling when they're right in front of her, and why the hell does she have the Sangheli word for "Love" tattooed on her cheek? Then he remembers what happened to Michigan. New Jersey took him hostage, and waited until Nevada was present to make his demands. When he got them, he put a bullet through his head anyway, just to spite her. That drastically changed Nevada for the worse. Wash just shrugs. "We gonna fight or not?"

Nevada nods. "Love the enthusiasm, Washington! Now let's go! 4-7-9, open the door, please." The door opens, and Mass is the first to jump. She is followed by Wash, then Nevada, then Alaska. They land on terra firma with a thud. The place is called Vertigo. They rush near silently at the spire. New Jersey is simply standing there.

"Hello, Nevada. Have you come to kill me?" he says in his thick Russian accent.

"Hell yes. Men, if you'll excuse me." She pushes in front of the rest of her team and puts the pistol to NJ's head. "This is for Michigan, you son of a-" She's cut off by a sniper's bullet to the chest. New Jersey laughs.

"I am ready to die, my former friends." A squad of elite Insurrectionists surrounds the three remaining Freelancers. He takes out his knife and slices Nevada's throat effortlessly. "The question is… Are you?"

Alaska feels a rage he didn't know he possessed, and turns, grabbing the nearest Insurrection trooper and throws him at NJ. He then crouches as bullets fly over his head.

"Payload two, Rho."

"Yes, Sir."

A pair of katanas launches through the air and land in his hands. He rushes forward with unbecoming grace, cutting through the enemy. Wash grabs the nearest hostile and knees them in the back with a sickening crunch. Mass swings her SAW, smacking a trooper in the head, then mowing down two of his companions. In a mere minute, New Jersey is the last man standing. Mass grabs a shotgun from a dead enemy, and without a word, blows him away with a single shot. She looks over at Nevada.

"She's with Michigan now, at least."

Alaska brutally finishes off two troopers with his katanas, now soaked in blood. Rho activates his radio. "Command, Nevada's dead, but mission was completed. Send 4-7-9 back for exfil. Bring a stretcher."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"This is the end"

Present day

Alaska stares at the vast army of Texbots in front of him. Carolina is on the other side of the room, barely able to keep awake after being smashed into a shipping container. He hopes he and his new friends made it in time. He charges his Spartan laser and fires, taking out three. The sim troopers behind him try to look menacing. Alaska screams at the top of his lungs.

"Get some, Baby!"

Carolina turns to see the former Freelancer throwing her a thumbs-up. She runs to his side, shocked, but not displeased. "What are they doing here?"

Wash puts a hand on her shoulder. "They aren't so bad, once you get to know 'em." The Blues and Reds nod in assent. Epsilon pops up alongside Carolina, and addresses the troops in front of him.

"Guys… I'm an asshole, I admit it, and I will gladly accept any smart-ass remarks after this is over. But, I just want to point out that there is an army of psycho robots who want to completely, and utterly, FUCK OUR SHIT UP."

The bright blue one, Tucker, speaks. "So… Cheesy forgiveness speech later?" Alaska cuts off Church's answer. "Less talking, more fucking the robo-chicks." Tucker responds with a prompt "Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow." Alaska sighs in frustration. "I meant fuck them up." Tucker shrugs. "Be more specific next time, dude."

Church moves to Caboose. "Caboose, I need you to get a little angry." Caboose stutters, confused as usual. "I- I don't remember how to do that." Church smiles under his holographic helmet. "I do." He enters the less-than-bright Blue's head and sends him into a bull rush. He sends at least 15 robots in the air. His voice is deeper, and Alaska is actually a little scared of the Blue now. His voice echoes through the huge room. "My name is Michael J. Caboose. And I. Hate. TAXES!"

The yellow guy shouts "It's Texas, you idiot!" Caboose just responds with "That too." They all rush forward. The Red leader stops mid-charge and shouts "FOR OUR ANCESTOR'S ANCESTORS, ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"

Alaska throws his laser cannon at a Texbot, smashing its face, and pulls out two SMGs and starts mowing the rest down as he bounds forward. He flips over the maroon guy, cutting down two about to attack the yellow guy. Carolina is caught by the neck by another, but Alaska manages to shoot over her shoulder, dropping the robot with a 5-round burst. They nod, rolling, vaulting, firing, and leaping over under, and around each other in sync. Wash jumps onto Alaska's back and leaps over Carolina, sniping 4 bots with his DMR. There are too many, however, and they form a circle, attempting to hold the things off. Then Epsilon disappears. Within a minute or so, the bots shut down. Carolina looks at Alaska, emanating a sheer determination that would have made Michigan or Alabama proud. "Let's get the Director."

Alaska nods, grabbing his discarded Spartan Laser and blowing open a steel bulkhead. A voice with a distinct Southern accent can be heard.

"Play it again, FILSS."

Alaska runs to the hole in the wall, and sees the Director watching a film. "Director?"

He turns. "Agent Alaska. How are you, my boy?" His depression is evident in his voice. "Would you like to watch this file with me?"

"Neither of us do, sir." Carolina walks in, her helmet off. Alaska can't help but be shocked.

_Her eyes…they look exactly the same as mine… _He takes off his helmet, looking at the shell of a man in front of him. The Director looks up at the AI alongside them. "Epsilon.. Have you come to see me?"

"No. I came to remember. Someone has to."

The Director watches Carolina walk out, too overwhelmed to stand in the room anymore. "You two were my greatest creations."

Epsilon speaks. "I-"

Alaska interrupts. "He wasn't talking to you. Epsilon."

The Director looks at the agent beside him. His green eyes and dark hair with graying roots makes him think of himself. Alaska crouches next to the Director, hugging him. "I'm sorry, Dad. But… Carolina… Is-"

"Yes, Clint. She's your sister."

Alaska hangs his head low. The Director speaks, his voice cracking. "Son… Would you be so kind as to reunite me with your mother?"

Alaska salutes, pulling out his Magnum. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

The Director smiles. "No…but I came close."

The Magnum spits fire into the dark room. His mission complete, Alaska walks out, staring at the crowd in front of him… and bursts into tears.


End file.
